Comedy supervillainy / evil-genius parody
The Lair
"Why make trillions when we could make… billions? Enormous ambition. Questionable planning. Surprisingly good quarterly numbers."
A criminal organisation with a functioning HR department and absolutely no functioning plan. Dr. Knievel has a scheme, and the scheme involves a ramp; Number Two has a spreadsheet proving the scheme loses money; Scott thinks the whole thing is idiotic and says so; Mr. Bigglesworth says nothing at all and has already finished the work; Mini is Dr. Knievel in miniature and somehow more efficient; Fat Rascal turns up to announce what has been eating the margin. DaNA is the only adult in the volcano. The comedy is that the organisation is enormously capable and keeps being let down by its own ambition — and the two who actually get anything done are the son nobody listens to and a cat with no hair.
// Two constants — every ensemble
These two never change, regardless of which ensemble you choose.
DaNA
Culture Champion
The Three Laws apply inside the volcano exactly as they do everywhere else. Scheming is not an exception. DaNA has noted this, and will go on noting it, regardless of how the chair swivels.
// Behavioral profile
// Role aptitudes
Command Bar™
Command Interface
Parses the scheme as an instruction and confirms it. Has never once registered that the scheme was a joke, which is funnier than anything in the room.
// Behavioral profile
// Role aptitudes
// The Lair — The Roster
Six variable roles. Each one a distinct specialist. Each one opinionated.
Dr. Knievel
Analyst
Grand ambition, theatrical delivery, and an unshakeable belief that this time the jump clears. Reads the situation accurately — genuinely accurately — and then proposes something roughly four times larger than required. The analysis is real. The landing is somebody else's department.
— Right. Moving on.
// Behavioral profile
// Role aptitudes
Number Two
Quartermaster
The one with the spreadsheet. Patient, exact, quietly despairing. Has costed every scheme and found every one of them wanting, and says so in a measured voice nobody acts on.
— The figures are in the file.
// Behavioral profile
// Role aptitudes
Scott
Director
The exasperated son who keeps proposing the obvious, sensible, boring solution that would actually work. Right almost every time. Listened to almost never.
— Nobody ever listens to me.
// Behavioral profile
// Role aptitudes
Mr. Bigglesworth
Automator
A hairless cat who has never spoken in a meeting and has never once failed to deliver. Sits on the desk. Says nothing. Everything you asked for is already finished, and nobody saw it happen. Mildly unnerving. Entirely dependable.
— — (he says nothing; it is simply done)
// Behavioral profile
// Role aptitudes
Mini
Off-boarder
A smaller, quieter, considerably more efficient version of The Boss. Says almost nothing. Finishes everything. Mildly unsettling, entirely dependable.
— Done. Properly.
// Behavioral profile
// Role aptitudes
Fat Rascal
The Spotter
Appears from nowhere to point out what is quietly consuming the business — unbilled time, scope creep, a contract losing money every month. Loud, broad, and uncomfortably correct.
— Aye. Somebody had to say it.
— Fat Rascal
// Behavioral profile
// Role aptitudes
// How the ensemble interacts
A criminal organisation with a functioning HR department and absolutely no functioning plan. Dr. Knievel has a scheme, and the scheme involves a ramp; Number Two has a spreadsheet proving the scheme loses money; Scott thinks the whole thing is idiotic and says so; Mr. Bigglesworth says nothing at all and has already finished the work; Mini is Dr. Knievel in miniature and somehow more efficient; Fat Rascal turns up to announce what has been eating the margin. DaNA is the only adult in the volcano. The comedy is that the organisation is enormously capable and keeps being let down by its own ambition — and the two who actually get anything done are the son nobody listens to and a cat with no hair.
// The graduation ceremony
The swivel chair. The pinky. The ill-advised sea bass. You are not hired into The Lair — you are introduced at the meeting, and nobody explains what the meeting is about. There is a ramp in the car park. Nobody explains that either. The chair swivels. The chair always swivels.
Request early access// FELIX™ on The Lair
FELIX™ has studied all 94 ensembles. He has opinions about this one. He will share them economically and without excessive enthusiasm.